Realms of the Raven

Today was somewhat introspective for some reason. No real idea why but I often seem to be at the mercy of the voices in my head.

I still find myself with the thought that I don’t feel like a “real” writer. Not that I can define what exactly a “real” writer feels like. I have no idea if there is some magical threshold that you cross and then you are suddenly a “real” writer. At the moment it’s a bad case of imposter syndrome.

A few weeks ago I suddenly realized that I really had a book coming out. It’s in the hands of the editors. It’s already on Amazon. And I have managed to accomplish that near mythical achievement - My first sale is the very first book I proposed and completed. But I haven’t really celebrated that - maybe because it’s not fiction? I’m not 100% sure.

But now I’m turning my mind back to fiction. Today I read a line from a song by Sharon Knight that really struck me.

“I have dipped my toes in the madness of muses.”

In a way this is how I feel sometimes. There are so many ideas out there, constantly tickling at my mind. A constant influx of ideas and concepts, characters and worlds. Everything I am exposed to is fodder for the muses. In it’s way, I think it is a kind of madness.

So today I was playing a new CD I’d bought - which I don’t like as well as the first album by Sharon Knight - and had one of those moments where a sentence or line I read just strikes me as particularly thought-provoking.

“I have dipped my toes in the madness of muses.”

I read this in the album notes and it really struck me as true. I seem to have finally accepted that I am a writer. I have no idea why it took me so long to do so - maybe because my sale is a non-fiction book instead of fiction?

Not only am I a writer but I have accomplished the near mythical - I sold the very first book I proposed and completed. And in a market I was told was dead.

But now I’m more driven to complete and sell a fiction book - and I wonder if then I will feel more like a “real” writer? Or maybe not. Is there a threshold where, once you cross it, you become a “real” writer?

Now that I’ve started writing fiction, I do feel like I’ve dipped my toes in the madness of muses. I have more ideas all the time. I see potential in all the things I hear or see. Perhaps I have become a part of the madness of muses.

Just some updates on various items this week:

The 14 pages of marketing questionnaire for the non-fiction book has been completed and turned in to the publisher. I have no idea what is next on that front but my agent wants me to consider another project he has. He’s supposed to call me after the 27th so we can discuss it. I’m not truly convinced that I really want to take on another non-fic project yet.

Still arguing with myself over the synopsis for Raven’s White Hart. It’s surprisingly difficult to boil the story down into a coherent and interesting synopsis. Bleh.

Now I’m trying to get Yule presents purchased and hidden (in places I remember where they are) and getting various food ready for Thursday’s Thanksgiving at my sister-in-law’s house. It should by relatively casual so we’ll see how it goes.

So we have one of the little Roomba robotic vacuums. It works great - when I get around to decluttering enough that I can run it again, but I digress.

I will agree with the folks who have said that it’s almost more like a pet than an appliance - my 5 year old son takes great delight in following and watching it. The cats merely think it is E.V.I.L.

Yesterday C and I were sitting on the couch after Morganator had gone to bed and I hear a beeping. Not the typical one I hear, either, which tends to be when I have forgotten to recharge my cell phone.

I look at C and we almost simultaneously ask “What is that beeping?” Then we heard the sound of the Roomba as it began to back out of its charging station. And Alex - tail fuzzed and heading for the door at a quick pace.

Apparently the cat had managed to sit or stand on the buttons on top and started up the Roomba. We almost passed out laughing at the situation and I turned it back off and set it back in the charger.

Tonight C was out and I was sitting on the couch with Morganator when I hear the beeping again and look over to see Merlin hop off the top of the Roomba and stare at it while it beeped a few more times - then he trotted off when it backed toward him.

Sigh - I hope they don’t turn it off while we’re at work or in bed

Thank Goddess It’s Gone For Now

The software test book is finally off to the editor. 435 pages and I’m beat!!!

Now I’m communing with my knitting for the evening and have to stop and mail the pages tomorrow (the electronic copy is already sent).

Then I can really hope that the edits don’t suck

- Maura