As I watch a few internet/group/email kerfluffles go on around me today, I’ve been thinking about some advice I was given by several author friends, including my mentor, before I was even published. I’m really glad I took it to heart and have lived by it since then.
It amounts to learning how to bite your tongue and when.
There are a huge number of discussions, calls to action, fights and even bad-mouthing that go on every day on the internet, even my small corner of it. These can be really attractive to me because, let’s face it, I’m never lacking an opinion! I constantly fought my desire to throw in my dime’s worth when I first became involved in the publishing and e-publishing industry. Only faith in my friends and mentor made me stop and wait – there would always be chances to express my opinion later, after all.
While I watched and waited (for several months), I came to a realization that is at least true for me. I need to put my best foot forward and hold onto my professional reputation because that’s a huge part of what I’m selling to publishers and my readers. Who wants to be a fan of (or hire someone who) publicly bad-mouths their publisher? Who wants to sign someone who has all the hallmarks of being High Maintenance? It doesn’t help my goals at all.
Instead, because I took this advice, I never worry if someone Googles me and what they might find when they do. I never have to try to attempt internet sponge-bathing to remove things I said in the heat of the moment or which later turned out to be false or just plain bad. The internet and emails can live forever between caching, people’s personal archives and groups.
I am sure I’m not loved and adored and I’m not claiming I am or should be, but I’m comfortable that I don’t make enemies needlessly. I don’t burn bridges I might need later. The way I conduct myself in public is a part of my professional assets, really. And it’s important to me.
According to some other people, my take on this part of author life is a cop-out and I’m in denial. That may be your opinion as well and I’m okay with that :)
Each time I see something I really WANT to respond to, I ask myself a few questions before I allow myself to type a reply:
- Will I add anything valuable to this conversation by replying?
- Does anyone really care about my response?
- Will responding cause more benefit than potential harm?
If the answer to any ONE of these questions is “no”, I don’t respond. It really is that simple.
Every author (and person) has to make decisions like this themselves but I do encourage everyone to give it some thought. One of the negative side effects of the internet and the ability to instantly post or send email is that people tend to feel a need to do so. But it’s a choice – and a choice that deserves some thought.
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Well said!
by Dawn Montgomery June 3rd, 2009 at 10:48 am