March 24th, 2010
It Never Fails


Today seemed to be one of those days. I took the day off from the Evil Day Job (partly to make up for last week’s failed “day off” attempt, partly because I felt yucky, and partly because I had a parent-teacher conference for the Minion) and I had resolved to laze around a bit, then do some kitchen work.


About 11:15 or so, I decided I needed to run an errand because, well, if I didn’t get more wet cat food asap, i might find them feasting on my toes as I took a nap. It doesn’t matter that their food bowls were full of dry food – that’s only desperation food and they’d rather do me in and feast on my bones instead. Two of my cats were sitting in the door to the kitchen, where their food bowls are, and giving me the evil eye as they plotted the timing of their retribution.

I gathered my purse, my keys, checked all the doors and windows were secured, then set the alarm. On my way out the front door, I turned the lock on the knob. Then I shut the door and turned to lock the deadbolt……

Except the key was not on my keyring. I have a nice two part valet keyring that I like because I don’t break my nails getting keys on and off it. Apparently keys can find their ways off it too.

Yes, in fact I did check several times (I don’t keep many keys on the ring). I emptied my purse to see if it had come off inside it. No luck. I checked all over the car, despite the fact I knew I’d had it the day before in order to GET into the house when I got home. Logic be damned – but no luck there either.

I couldn’t even scream, but I was tempted to laugh hysterically. I mean, hey, this couldn’t really be happening, could it? I mean, what are the odds?

After briefly considering (and abandoning) the idea of breaking into the house, I called Mr. Maura.

Me: “Hi honey, whatcha doing?”

Him: “Working. Why?” (He sounded suspicious. Guess I should call him just for no reason more often, huh?)

Me: “Umm. I locked myself out of the house. Want to meet me for lunch?”

Him: (brief moment of silence) “How in the world did you manage that?”

Me: “I was leaving to run errands and my house key has disappeared off my keyring. I have no idea how. How about sushi – it’s not far from the hardware store where we can get a new key made.”

Him: (long pause this time, then a sigh). “Only you. Okay, it’s a slow day and we have the conference. How long will it take you to run your errands?”

Me: “About an hour.”

Him: “Alright. Let me get some stuff done and talk to my boss. I’ll call you back when I’m on my way. Are you SURE your key is missing.”

Me: “YES, I’m sure! Thank you. I love you.”

Him: “I love you too.”

I’ll note that I heard what suspiciously sounded like either allergies or an attempt to not break into laughter at the end of this conversation. I didn’t mention it and neither did he.

He did rescue me, though the trip to get the key turned into a tour of the entire hardware store where he petted power tools and barbeque grills.

I never did get the laze around part of the day. I did get a new house key and more wet cat food (for which the cats were most grateful) and we did make the conference.

The universe abhors a day off, I swear!

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