Wednesday, February 23rd, 2011
Cats as Office Assistants

Up until today my cats have been locked out of my home office. There was too much chaos and too many things for them to get into. So, thwarted by not having opposable thumbs, they resorted to sitting outside the door, pawing at it and yodeling as only a donkey attempting an operatic aria or an annoyed cat can. I admit it, I did laugh at their expense. But today I felt sorry for them, especially my sickly skinny cat that’s probably not going to be around a whole lot longer. It’s cold and he’s skinny and loves to lay on me but can’t when I’m working in the office and he’s not allowed in.

So I caved.

First Harley (the skinny guy) came in and very nervously sniffed all through the room and rubbed his chin on anything and everything he could claim for himself. It was HIS, dammit. After several trips in and out the now mysteriously open door, he discovered the reading chair’s ottoman and the fluffy warm blanket I’d laid on it for him. He was happy to nest there for a while.

Then, just as he got comfortable, we had a brief visit from Nettle. Nettle is one of the Scaredy Cat Club — she’s semi-feral and not at all willing to come within 20 feet of a human. I heard a cat come in and turned to look around the side of the desk. When she saw there was a HUMAN in this mysterious room, she bolted. No pictures of her, sorry.

Another twenty minutes or so later, Merlin showed up. Merlin is our oldest cat and would gladly knock off all other cats so he had all the pets and humans for himself alone. He and Harley are arch enemies most of the time though lately they’ve devolved to a more “willful obliviousness” state. He pestered me for pets for a while and then discovered the ottoman and blanket when Harley went out of the room for a bit.

They danced around any need to acknowledge each others’ presence for quite a while, even ending up on the ottoman and blanket together, until the unthinkable happened. Meeps, our dominant girl kitty, discovered the office was open. In she saunters! Again some requisite exploration, then she hopped up on the ottoman and pestered the boys to groom her by meowing and kneading them until they got disgusted and ceded the rights to the ottoman and blanket to her. She is Queen! Note the laser eyes, too.

I needed more tea after this and the whole group trouped down the stairs after me as if I were the pied piper. When i got back up to the office, they started getting into things and got booted out for a while.

Such help.

Sunday, April 18th, 2010
S(tarvation) Condition!


On the weekends, I try to sleep in a little or at least laze about in the bedroom before coming down to face the many chores that Must Be Done. This is great for me but my cats are not at all pleased with this plan. I have seven (yes, seven) indoor only cats–the perils of cat rescue–but four of them are the demanding ones. These cats meet me at my bedroom door every morning to let me know they are starving and in dire need of sustenance.

They also try to conveniently forget that they have an entire HUGE bowl of dry cat food at all times. That’s not real food, after all–or so they claim.

Now the indoor cats are banned from the bedroom due to some bad behavior and they are Not Amused by this. Even though it’s been almost a year since they were banished. I’m not sure they will ever accept it as the new “normal”. When the start to hear Mr. Maura and I stirring in the bedroom in the morning, they take up their stations right outside the bedroom door and commence meowing to try to hurry us along. I’m not sure about anyone else’s cats but mine are decidedly un-musical. A cowbell would be more pleasant, actually.

But today we didn’t emerge within a short time of there being talking and noise in the bedroom and the cats commenced their pestering with even more vigor. As best we can tell, they have set up an S-Con system.

S-Con 5: Cats are hungry but assume the humans will quickly perform their feeding duties. Meowing at the door at moderate volume is sufficient.

S-Con 4: Cats are even hungrier but the humans have already taken longer than a typical lag time. More incentive is needed. Meowing shall increase in volume and cats must thump shoulders and hips on the bedroom door to encourage you to move faster.

S-Con 3: Cats now feel actual hunger pangs. Humans are unresponsive or have begun meowing back or laughing. Mocking is not a satisfactory response to cat misery. Meowing shall become yodeling and scratching at the door shall commence.

S-Con 2: Cats now despair of actually getting two servings of squishy food during this day. Humans are definitely mocking or have become unresponsive again. Meowing is no longer sufficient and cats shall begin yowling and stage gladitorial combat outside the bedroom door to illicit appropriate level of urgency from the humans.

S-Con 1: Cats give up on food and commence retribution. Hairball barfing may commence with effort made to place mess in traffic path and if any shoes are left accessible and unguarded, they shall be peed in.

Cats – who knew? LOL.

Saturday, December 6th, 2008
Just a Quick Update

This has been a rather crazed and stressful week. One of my cats had to be hospitalized on Monday and the week has been a rollercoaster of tests, results, and trying to be hopeful about what was going on with him along with a very busy week at work.

The good news is that he was finally able to come home just today but I had to change the diet of ALL the cats because we suspect part of his issues are a sensitivity to chicken. And I get to try to get antibiotic pills down him once a day for 10 days, then a new test about a week after that.

I do wish I’d have a while without drama and crises to maybe relax but somehow that never seems forthcoming.

I’m glad he’s home, though. He’s my dog in a cat suit and greets me at the door. I missed him a lot.

I’ll try to get my flash up tomorrow and catch everyone up on the book news I can share so far!